Monday, 29 November 2010

Reasons to be miserable: Wanted

Do these look like the faces of shoplifters to you?

Well the staff in the new Utile (Super U's local shop) thought so. I ducked in to see if they had:

1. Any chocolate I hadn't tried.
2. Cheddar.

They didn't so I left. Empty-handed. Or at least I tried to. The good lady cashier stopped me and gave me, Wrigglesworth and the buggy the once over. Now I know I am looking (and smelling - eau de wee) increasingly like a tramp (and not as in "The Lady is a") but this was a bit of a shock. Clearly I look like the kind of hard-up, socially deprived young (ahem) mother who would use her child as a fence for tea-leafing a few essential supplies. But buying chocolate and cheddar is more important than looking like I can afford to, and the budget doesn't stretch to both.


  1. The new Utile just lost a customer (or perhaps not if they didn't have cheddar and new chocolate). How shocking!You did wear shoes, right?
    Oh, that Wrigglesworth face!He's so expressive. A possible actor?

  2. An actor, yes, I'd like that. Actually I'd just like it if he was a something (an anything!), unlike his mum who is a nothing, not even a shoplifter!

  3. As I recall, in your younger days you quite enjoyed a little lighte fingeredness. But usually you relieving a member of the family of something you didn't think they would miss.

    ;op XXX

  4. I clearly missed my true calling. Maybe I should head into Beziers and round myself up a gang of likely urchins: a modern day Fagin.

  5. Oh, and the one on the left definitely looks a little suspicious.


  6. Funnily enough, I've had Jane's Addiction's classic song "Been Caught Stealing" on my mind recently (since Alice Cooper chose it on Desert Island Discs - yes, I know, I know), with its catchy tune and hilarious lyrics - look 'em up (choice verse:
    We sat around the pile.
    We sat and laughed.
    We sat and laughed and
    Waved it into the air!
    And we did it just like that.
    When we want something,
    We don't want to pay for it.)
    However, in this case, you were caught not stealing. I hope they gave you the chocolate and cheddar free as compensation.


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